Once on a yellow peice of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it "chops"
because that was the name of his dog
and thats what it was all about
his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
and his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts.
that was the year Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and he let them sing on the bus
and his little sister was born
with tiny nails and no hair
and his mother and father kissed alot
and the girl around the corner sent him a
Valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
and his father always tucked him in bed at night
and was always there to do it
once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
and that's what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
and his mother never hung it on the kithcen door
beause of the new paint
and the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometime they would burn holes
that was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
and the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see santa claus
and the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed alot
and his father never tucked him in bed at night
and his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it
once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
and he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
and thats what it was all about
and his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
that was the year Father Tracy died
and he forgot how the end
of the Apostles's Creed went
and he caught his sister
making out on the back porch
and his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
and the girl around the corner
wore too much make up
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
becuase it was the thing to do
and at 3 am he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly
that's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
because that's what it was really all about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
and he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didnt think
he could reach the kitchen
- Stephen Chbosky "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"
Ma ei tea. K. ütles, et ta võttis raamatukogust selle raamatu sõbranna soovitusel. Ta küsis ega ma seda filmi pole näinud. Nii harjumatu tõlge oli eesti keeles, et alguses ütlesin ei. Hiljem sain veast aru. Seejärel vaatasime filmi. Talle vast meeldis, kuigi ta nentis, et "Armugurust" paremat filmi ei leidu. Emotsiooni ajendil lugesin raamatu läbi.
Minu meelest võtab see luuletus inimeseks olemise ilusti kokku.
Mul on tunne, et ükskõik, kui väga ma ei püüaks, juhtub see sama ka minuga. Ma juba praegu tunnen, kuidas ma vajun vaikselt oma mulli, tehes oma käitumisega teistele haiget.
Raamatus mainiti mitmeid kordi, kuidas elust tuleks "osa võtta". Eneseõigustusena pean ütlema, et ilma haiget tegemata ei suuda ma kuidagi tunda end elusana. Tähendab, ma ei tunne, et ma elaks endale, sest mu segatud tänu - ja süütunne takistab mind.
Esoteerilises kirjanduses ikka on mainitud, et andmine on kõige suurem rõõm ja viis, kuidas jõuda enda heaoluni. Ma ei tunne seda. Järelikult teen ma midagi valesti.
